Monday, May 19, 2014

Worried about upcoming baby and a toddler

I'm on my 33rd week of pregnancy now and in a few weeks time, another God's gift will arrive. Right now, I'm worrying about one thing that could happen--Aby might get jealous of her baby sibling.

Since the day I knew I was pregnant with my second child, I've been wondering how will my 2-year-old daughter accept the new addition in the family? 


Aby is very playful and affectionate. She loves attention too. She makes sure that someone notices what she does by calling our attention and repeating whatever it is that she did. One thing that makes me worry is that she seems to be possessive. She can share food and toys but she definitely dislike seeing us holding or playing with other babies/children. The first time she showed this was when we greeted her new born cousin. She frowned, shouted, pushed the other baby and "secretly" pinched him. She transferred to anyone who held the baby. She was still 7 months at that time.

My office mate shared one trick to make Aby accept her sibling and might make her proud as a big sister. He said that when relatives and friends arrive to see the new baby, they should greet Aby first and ask her to show them the new baby. So the rule would be--give attention to Aby first, make her feel important and spend some time with her if possible before seeing the new baby. I really hope this will work!

On my search for more tips, I saw a list of things that I can do to help my child accept a new sibling. Read the full list at Babycenter.com
These 5 things are somewhat what I planned to do. It's great to know I'm on the right track! :)

1. Give her special jobs. Let your first born help out — she may surprise you with how much she can do.
I will ask her to hand over things like the tissue, so she would feel needed.

2. Ask her advice. Ask your toddler: "Do you think the baby would like to wear the blue shirt or the yellow shirt?" or "Do you want to help me tell a story?" 
Aby might enjoy choosing the color of the shirt for the baby. :)

3. Read stories about her new role. Stories that show children enjoying and taking pride in their little sibs present positive role models for your child. 
Since Aby likes to imitate Dora a lot, we've been letting her watch Dora the Explorer - Big Sister Dora episode. I always try to explain to her what is happening in that episode. I'm hoping that when the new baby comes, she'll be able to accept him/her.

4. Acknowledge her feelings. Rather than scolding her, acknowledge her feelings. She may just need to know you understand her feelings and that you can take a minute to listen to and hold her.
We make it a point to ask her what is the matter when she becomes irritated or when she cries. It makes her pause, tells us what upsets her and gives us the opportunity to divert her attention. I hope that she would still do when the baby arrives.

5. Spend a little time alone with her. Spend some time each day with just your toddler, even if it's only a few minutes of drawing or building with blocks. This time makes her feel special and reminds her that you're her mommy as well as the baby's.
Dividing time for the baby and Aby could be hard at times but I hope that we'll be able to give as much time to both children. 
Aby with her baby toy
Right now, I've been trying to explain to her that we're having a new baby and that he/she is inside mommy's belly. She would hug my belly and say "I love you" as if she is talking to the baby. Then Aby would say "lotion...baby" and will go looking for the lotion and put some on my belly. It gives me an ease when I see her enjoy the moment and then clap after. Also, Aby has a toy baby that she loves dearly. She makes me nurse the toy whenever she thinks that it's crying. I hope that she'll be the same when the time comes...

Good luck to us!  :)

2 comments:

  1. Hi Edna, thanks for sharing this blog with your friends. I've got it bookmarked now! :) God bless you and your little family.

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  2. Thanks Jocelyn! I hope I'd be able to help other moms who have the same situation. Tips are very much welcome too. :)

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